Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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