My nipple is on Facebook.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
