PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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