awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
