I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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