Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
