i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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