So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
