After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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