Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
