So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
