I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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