Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
