K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
