what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
