omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
