And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
