the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
