That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I think pants incapable of making pants work
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
