Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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