dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
they need to just BURY HIM!
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
