That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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