dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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