I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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