I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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