I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
