I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
