This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
