The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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