Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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