God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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