Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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