Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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