Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
