So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
