the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Screwed.edu
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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