Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
