I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
My balls are so social today.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Text me some of your sweat
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
