have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
