Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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