ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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