Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
