Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
