But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
