I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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