I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i just had sex bonerless
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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