More tranny stories later!
I can tuck mytits in my pants
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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