last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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