I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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