Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
