woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize