so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
